feelin

155 days left

2008-06-09T18:22:00.002+08:00

I got to keep talking about ORD because its what I'm heading for and what I need right now. NS doesn't make sense, further more, commando is all about slavery; It is just uplifted and glorified slavery; The regime's robotic puppet, we work in their will and when rendered useless we are just thrown aside. Regret or not, I still treasure the friends I made in there.

5 months left and I realized I had been not working my brains alot. I am dumb this moment. Discipline or not I must revise my JC content, at least to maintain my intelligence. Working in army, under all those 'regulars' who don't really have much academics, had grown to be stupid like them. My worse sacrifice is my violin, really lost alot of skills and agility and the special violinist's feelin'. Have got to start regularly practicing again to recover from the NS trauma.

dong buay tiao

2008-05-26T21:36:00.002+08:00

its been a year and 4 months since i enter the idiotic regime. 6 months left and i swear this last six month of ns is the toughest. I had enough with all of it already. Just want to start uni life.... or rather cv life NOW!

Violin...... how do i get back my touch and agility and skills..... its all gone...

cantwait

2008-05-01T17:48:00.002+08:00

194 days left to rid of any stupidity in life.

back from thailand, finished atec, finished UC (basically finished all the major stuff in ns), now its 2NTM standbysss, guard dutiesss, NDP rehearsals... and to look for that non-existent MSK...

Only good thing out of the mess is got time in camp with my strings and improve on instrumental command.. and keeping my fingers as nimble as possible before i revive my violin. like so many thing im gonna do in another 194 days... cook, make pedals, music..

my next project: toroidal voltage adjust polarity protected power supply for music. any ideas for features or lobangs on components pls i wanna know!

Stuff you must watch and rewatch: Pure Pwnage (www.purepwnage.com) their film, the whole production and acting is just genius.

Amadeus: Classic... just good stuff, lots of thing happening behind the reel too which makes it special

crescendo

2008-03-01T12:19:00.002+08:00

Ex Crescendo, what can I say, waste of 29 days time, pointless exercise. Don't want to go but have to,can't wait to be back. leaving in a few hours time...

a month away, time to think about stuff, plan stuff.. \

hope i can survive a month not touching my guit or vio...

down time

2008-02-24T00:35:00.002+08:00

headache that a strong painkiller cannot suppress, pain in my chest when i walk... think my body's deteriorating. Got bitten by some unknown stuff, a cluster of little swellings front and back, doesn't seem to subside and it gives me random stinging pains...

now i need:
1M and 20K alpha pots
to ORD!
health
knowledge of vacuum valve electronics

thailand will suck, 1 month just goes to waste, just unacceptable... will bring books there to read, listen to lectures. NTU where i wanna be now....

I want:
A cnc router
desk drill
free shipping from my supplier.....

looks like i wanna start a workshop in my room, can't.. but those will speed and ease up my PCB making process. If there's more space in my flat i would have gotten a drum set...

279 days more

2008-02-06T23:41:00.000+08:00

Lunar (Chinese, whatever) New year in about 15 mins, but I don't seem to be positively embracing its coming. What I've been through made me numb to stuff, Its all nonsense until ORD.

But all's not gone to waste, I've made friends whom I shared music with, gave me other views on styles of music I have not tread. Exchanging specialized knowledge with each other in our own instrument mastery really enabled me. Got alot to learn in playing in a band, since all along I had played solo-type instruments.

Music is still prime

08 sucks

2008-01-10T20:23:00.000+08:00

new year was bad, Christmas was also bad, 08 is a bad year but for only 11 months and 11 days.

March, the whole of it, 1st to the 31st will be in Thailand. 31 days of seclusion I will turn deranged by the end of it. Thought Lancer was the worst, Thailand does not seem fun at all. From the day I was tricked into my formation, my life: hong gan.

And why am I having a hard time buying the string that i want for my violin and why is it so ******* expensive??

11months and 11 days more to go

2008-01-01T00:21:00.000+08:00

So, its 08. 07 was, to me, quite a defining year. whole year was dedicated to NS, which leaves 1 year left, exactly 11 months and 11 days. being in my unit wasn't easy and will never be, achievements are that i conquered Brunei lancer, march the 72, Falcon 1, and the daily trainings. Coming up for me in 08 is Crescendo in Thailand for Falcon 2, all the little ICTs, then finale with **** course in Thailand again. I still hate commandos

Stunned by Alexander Markov, I ordered the only recorded paganini 24 caprices DVD in the world, he showcased the whole 24 caprices. Wonders of technical perfection and unique interpretations. He plays in a style that sets him apart from the rest who played the 24 cautiously.

My life, built from and lives off music. It seems like the only thing that engages me and lights me up, many good friends musicians, music my emotional outlet and inlet. being in commando spoilt my music, tore my agility and music away from me, lifeless without a song but of loud guns im slowly losing myself.

blessed new year to whom needs blessings from the Lord

This is my Story This is my Song

2007-11-28T21:43:00.000+08:00

about less than a year before I rid of army.
Plans I make now can't be achieved, plans I had made made ruined.
I have no time for me.
After ORD, this big 8 months before University starts I want to
-Cook high class stuff than the easy pasta
-Learn Krav Maga
-Prep for Music diploma
-fully involved with Trinity Christian Centre's CM
-afford a Fender Eric Johnson Strat
-Start to make pedals to sell

thats all I can think of now

red beret - a cursed gift

2007-11-11T01:11:00.000+08:00

26th November, after marching the painful 72km the beret presentation. Now we(the company) turns operational. This bright coloured headgear was the driving force and motivation that was used to push commando trainees since BMT.

Well, donning it makes someone an elite of SAF, but I don't really see the point of doing so much for this commando 'thing', didn't even wanted to be one from the start well its not my choice in the end.

Its not the end of the tough life quite yet, still upcoming ATEC, trainings and L***(classified) course.
Reasons to die next year:
1) Inverted Repelling accident
2) Airborne parachute accident
3) Bad Luck in Thailand

After Brunei

2007-10-14T00:34:00.000+08:00

Well, Brunei training was a horror, lowest point of my life, torture. Well its over and Im back, conquered lancer. Well, 26th is Turning Ops day, life goes on, for the better? no one knows. Glad 5 days work week just commences and I look forward to joining cell. Music, drifting further away from me, mustn't let it happen.

Temburong

2007-09-12T18:33:00.000+08:00

That's where in Brunei I will be waging war with my mind and body. Flying off to brunei tonight with the SAF commandos, training will be unforgettable in a non-positive manner. Well, from the light side this will be the toughest 3 weeks of my NS life of which after this overseas training things will be better. God's will? He will not send me to wherever his grace cannot keep.
Lord bless my parents and grandmother in Jerusalem Israel currently.
God bless my aunt and uncle who had blessed me and will be sending me off.
God bless Yuxun who is supportive and patient.
God bless my cell whom are understanding encouraging.
And God Bless my special friend who is always there and understands me very well.
Can't wait to finish and come back from Brunei training; Getting the red beret means easier life and more time for my personal side.
Lord I serve you

12 days to brunei

2007-09-01T23:37:00.000+08:00

somehow I am becoming a fan of 'The Body Shop' and bought a large quantity of their product and using them on a daily basis. I think I like natural stuff and to reimburse my skin after the harsh army conditions.

Getting more frightened and uneasy for the coming Brunei training that commandos have to go through. I don't have to go through all these if I were not chosen by the commandos, well bad luck takes its place in my life.

Pray that I be back safe
Pray that I will not feel too much pain
Pray that no rashes or insect bites or animal attacks will happen
Pray that the weather will be good
Pray that God will be with me all the way
Pray that this walk will bring me closer to God

I don't want to be a bearer of a Red Beret, but guess i have to somehow.
Wish my Parents well in Israel when I'm at Brunei's Jungles.

notes

2007-08-05T16:47:00.000+08:00

8 months serving NS.. things made are friends, experience and physical/mental endurance. wasted are the precious youth time for myself, friends and family. Things had improved so far are I'm appreciative of civilian life, but my intelligence and knowledge degraded drastically.

Im waiting for the 8 months of Life after ORD, following that the promised to be fun-filled University 'campus' life. Summing them up, freedom.

Being in SAF commandos for 8 months now, it sure have pride, their "honour and glory". However I still reserve honour and glory to the Father. Throwing away the lesser of honour and glory frees me up so that I can listen closely to Him and serve him evermore.

Micheal, I miss you alot, I will be with you very soon, hope our bond have not faded through the bitter dull winds.

Pasticcio

2006-09-08T00:33:00.000+08:00

Anchovies! Heard about it but this is the first time buying and using..

Sauvignon Blanc (White Wine) Used in my pasta

Pastticio, prepared to bake...

Nicely baked (though little browm)

Cross section.... little too waterry i suppose

Ok... its yummy, much better than my last casserole. Spent 50+ on the ingredients, but the fun is in the cooking and preperation.... good stress relieve...

gold from us again..

2006-09-01T21:54:00.000+08:00

USPS.... ordered from US.. more gold.. The best cables of all.. George L's and Eric Johnson's The Art of Guitar DVD

Tubes Valves..

2006-06-18T22:48:00.000+08:00

At last my pedal is complete. Whats left is heavy duty 3pdt footswitch which still have not arrived, and paint job for it.. and also to trim the pot extensions, too long.. sounds great but there are humms but guess thats just tubes :p

completed in 2 weeks, from scratch (expect components and box) I have neared dangerous chemicals, have molten lead splatter on me and burnt my hands, and the tiresome sawing drilling and riveting. All was worth.

You can see the warm glow of the (electron) tube (ECC83), the main heart of the system. Riveted in place with stainless-steel rivets. (had a compressor for that so no strength needed =p)

Its powered by mains, means NO ADAPTERS... so i need to put a transformer inside to provide the 12VDC..

he internal organs... very cramped.. plus the huge pots... can't find smaller pots..

My Tuber Driver, my pride...

warm and fuzzy

2006-06-16T17:10:00.000+08:00

That marriage dreams still haunts me by day, pondering about it i may seem to have made a beautiful perfect marriage ideal construct. All your family(loved ones) are there to watch (don't quite like to use watch) plus you are united with the person of your life. Life's perfect social situation of unification rather than dissipation, birth rather than death. Bride and Grooms get to taste a fraction of heaven for a day (so ppl involved in it try to help the couple not to screw up !!), courters pls make sure its cohesive and not forced before entering holy matri... if not, bite your lips and live on, marriage takes you to extremes and if it wasn't meant to work out (forced feelings about one another or infactuations) its rather like hell.

My Tube Driver had worked! After some trial modifications and modifications, I should say I found what i wanted it to work. Warm and Fuzzy? Yes, the warm tube sound only real tubes (electron tubes) can give, plus the smooth overdrives.. killer..
My Real Tube Driver:
1.0 - EQ not working
1.1 - Changed to a single knob Tone with net capacitance 0.019F
1.2 - Added BIAS and Impedance pots and prototype in ice-cream box
1.3 - Added boost and boosted volume cut (not happy with results)
Next Job: Remove Boost portion, adjust BIAS fixed resistance, add on/off for heater.

smth wrong with my brain

2006-06-14T08:21:00.000+08:00

this month i have been having wierd dreams, one of which i was hunting someone when i saw 3 nuclear warheads were launched and awaiting nuclear winter. The latest one was about marriage, was about me getting married and I was kind of the groom and the bride and I don't know how that happen to but the feeling was real. My mind had me fabricated the immense joy of the occasion. It must be after I came back from celebrating a friend's birthday where I experience the rare conviviality. My dreams (literal), I do not know if I really do have control over it, does my activities influence the contents. Though consiously I'm quite fond of simulating activities or situations.

music again. Yes!

2005-12-30T21:50:00.000+08:00

oh my, went back to Nan Chiau String Orchestra. Can't say they are good, though improved they did. But technically poor i'd must agree. However Mr. Wong and Mr. Eric Lim both did a great Job, re-teaching the orchestra from scratch over and over again and still play quite decent songs. After that String session I rushed to Kevin's house, awed and impress once more by his guitar techniques. So we had some fun together (Guitar la..) on his peavey amp, Fender Bassman.. and abused his bro's Ibanez... the pups rox... Tired liao then walked to Chomp Chomp eat.. walk back.. haha

My violin teacher gave a an acoustic guitar. haha. She don't use it she say so I take it lor, may have some use for it on my recordings. Its not a good guitar for my taste but usable.. :p Its action was high so I filed 1mm off the bridge.. a little playable now.. haha, wait till i change the strings to .10 guage.

Tried playing Badinerie on guitar.. haha, too hard. i'd better stay scarlatti =x

Rock... Onward

2005-12-28T23:54:00.000+08:00

So, it continues, this little tale of a band, which got a nice room to play in. The band hath.. wadeva.. I managed to get a room for my band! nice cosy little place with beds sofas toilets... and this Sunday will be the first time we be using it. Its been a long time since I played with them, hopefully we will improve and get to be great!

Well my electric guitar.. I'm trying to clean out the solder.. the last owner really sucked at soldering, what a mess. Until I get my dad to buy the shrink tubes, I'll do a nice job on the guitar... haha.. perhaps a fresh set of strings.

Days have been lazy. Don't feel like doing anything and keep slowly scribbling on paper. Somebody help me. I Need Someone...... I realised, can't keep up the solitude

x'cuse my french

2005-12-23T22:35:00.000+08:00

JC is soon to start and I am dead. don't have the mood to finish the homework... i'm so pathetic... anyway..

Today was nice, hung out with shaobechuangharngciyip at Curry Flavour. Its some kind of jap curry restnt. Most enjoyable day, Xchanged gifts and all.. and get to be with friends. This event is much cherished by me as loomed the dreaded JC2 life I am prepared for.

Joyeux Noël et Bonne Année to everyone!

sick and seek

2005-12-18T21:15:00.001+08:00

thurs -> got up in the morn feeling funny... did not doubt and went out... came back 7pm+ had a bad fever...
fri-> rested at home whole day sick.. hot
sat-> well but warm, bad bad headache which does not go away. Sore throat drank a heineken
today morn, slight hangover but still ok.. went to church and rejuvenated.. killed time until 12:30... then went to taka Godiva and met Joel, ate a $3 choco (small piece!!) talked until 2 when he finished work then went délifrance bistro. Ordered some fish dish.. expensive sia... $16.. then went music essentials to see MUSIC!! Joel wanted to try some violins.. I leh tried some bows. I need to research on bows coz I needa get another one.. I asked for bows around 1K to test... quite nice.. then bought my exam piece.. rained so stayed there abit. Then headed for the durian. Got chocolatte at citilink Godiva made by Joel... haha.. not bad man the drink.. 8 bucks!! Then went lib at espl to cope stuff.. haha.. harvest not bad.

Somehow Im into opera stuff.. Borrowed a kriesler album played by stern.. Good! can hear more interpretations for liebesfreud.. and its orchestra version.. much nicer than piano violin.

honour to my calculator

2005-12-13T18:53:00.000+08:00

my calculator went to war
many of things did it saw
tough life it had been
for numbers it had seen
half of its nerves were broken
its skin sore and eyes swollen
now it lies in my abode retired
for its life had cruelly expired
meek it was and speaks no more
may its name be in the king's hall
- Song En

Yes, my calculator Spoilt, its screen can only display half and the other half gone. One of its screw is missing and the grip for the hard cover also wore off. Just thought I wrote a little poem about it :p So today I went to orchard popular and bras basah popular and cannot find a similar model, lastly i checked a bookstore at ground floor, and they have it... Large place for popular and dun carry it, such small bookstore and have what I want.. disappointing.

Went out to buy presents for christmas, although haven buy all finish, but got most down.. phew.. what a chore.

I eagerly await my DVDs to arrive from America... technology they say and it still take weeks to get a simple little DVD from America to SGP.. Can't wait for Eric Johnson, just love him. I totally admire his musicianship and tastes. Although, Fender Strats :p His overdrive is so smooth and cool, cleanly played its so nice.. and He ain't much of a showman, which irritates me. On stage he cares about sound and music before setting in showmanship. He uses so many different techniques in his songs and his songs are all nice and melodic, somewhat catchy and soothing. Plus his beautiful tones....... U need to hear to know. But I still Love Les Paul guitars!

I 2Es broke

2005-12-07T23:04:00.000+08:00

Today was quite fun.. did nth as usual in the morning. Then went for Violin Lesson. So when I tuned my E strings broke. I changed, also broke before it got tuned. haha. then my master also don't have any extras Es, so I played her think 15K Violin. Whao, from the moment I can feel and hear the difference with my 6K Violin... It was so playable, the sound was thick and sweet, and only using helicore. I think I know wad to get for my Micheal (my violin's name). Lower the A and E, get the pegs changed.. But I think I'll leave the sound post.... Or should I.

Thinking of getting a new bow.. better one.. for 900SGD i bought one which is kinda heavy but I don't really feel it.. Next time go back Paris then I check it out. hopefully a tourté (the "strad" of the bows). However I still Love Micheal as myself, I will never sell it or anything. Now I miss it... haha, just by playing other violins.

calculators damanged.. got to get a new one to start work soon.... buying lighter, mini maglite and lock tomorrow..

im must stop

2005-12-06T17:48:00.001+08:00

Laziness -> the thing that will kill me one day. Laziness had already caused me so many important stuff.. like past grades.. my music progress, things i could have accomplished and never complete. But well God had been graceful and brought me through up till now. I had been blaming people that they should do or its their loss, however i've been losing out because i am not doing anything progressive. Save Me

i have started 2 nice songs but never sat down long enough to complete it.. learned songs and never master it... oh come on.. JC2, no more playing around. Next year I will forcefully shut away all other things and concentrate on whats at my nose: JC! As much as I hate it, I have to, people have nagged enough about importance of JC blah blah which is logical. I spent months on a topic about Logic at Further Math course.. I accept logic as it is although sometimes its too chim. =p

I might have to stop playing paganini, its killing my fingertips. just now as I played skin literally peeled off and dropped to the floor. My fingertips are getting white and painful.... better stay kriesler. Can't wait for my Eric Johnson DVDs to arrive from America.. His tones and techniques, like hendrix's phrasing are never to be mastered. I also like Paul Gilbert's style and playing. Yngwie's craziness is adorable :)

christmas is near and im still looking for presents. I am difficult for myself, part perfectionist, I want to get a more than good gift for the correct person.. thats why its hard.... rock and Roll! and BLUES!

aww... my first post

2005-12-05T10:39:00.000+08:00

it is monday now, ever since JC time has been passing by with speed of positive increment... Next year will be better, hopefully Chinese is history, no more Further Math, no more Project Work (eeww)... my scheduels and time should be ever more free than 2005...

Plus, next year no more CCA (Photography has always been a slack CCA :p but I just chose to participate in everything), no more stupid and stressful Youth Flying Club (SYFC).. need to memorize so many aircraft checks and must remember it in such a stressful environment. imagine: U piloting a plane, must look out for other planes, look out for clouds, know where u are, do routine checks, at the same time listen to the radio and the stupid air tower who never speaks clearly.. look for weather.. stress man..

Ok.. I screwed 2005, done stuff that i shouldn't have done that i regret. guess liking someone is not such a delightful feeling. if nows not the time then when is? However I will still let my King over-rule this matter, He will arrange "it" in his time his will and his powers. I can't do anything... all I can and did is to let all my feelings into my music. It is like squeezing it out into a little song, which then its really out and I don't feel it anymore. I guess thats why the blues was popular.

I hate "pop" music. Those asian pop groups are scums of the earth. While I still like some but 99% of them insults music, driven only by money and the fame they get, they give shit about their music, they just want it to sound good and attract people... drug of the music world. It has no real meaning and it doesn't change anything, except the finacial part. I have been playing along with blues songs and written some too. songs like Red House from hendrix, San Francisco Bay Blues by clapton are kinda nice to fun to play with. I just play the song out loud, take my electric and just counter melody it :) and I don't like heavy metal. My choice for electric guitar is tube overdriven, smooth and nice.. or played clean.. However heavy distortion really helps after a heavy day at school (MD2!)